After going out with my family, I drank alone. I broke into the condo complex next door because the roof to ours was locked. The roof to theirs was locked as well. I went swimming in my underwear alone. I came back. Laid by the ocean and talked to Meagan on the phone. Realized I forgot my glasses. Had to break in again which was exceptionally more difficult. Lost phone service. Got phone service. Lost it again. Got my glasses. Crawled into bed. Fell asleep feeling pathetic.
It’s been one day.
It’s healthy being here. I realize a lot. I realize I am only happy because I block out everything, which is something I swore to myself I would never do. I realize that I cannot function alone.
I need to fix that. Because last night got dark much more quickly than I imagined it could.
hi dearie i'm saying this here because i dont have your phone number and i feel like every so and then i have the leave the creepy message but ok we are going to hang out one day and it will be awesome because even though im awkward i'm pretty sure we'll get along because we are destined to be friends like myspace friends FOR SO LONG like when it was coool?????? so anyways yes you are awesome and beautiful and a good person and i hope you always remember that regardless of where life leads you
Hey babycakes, no worries, I appreciate this stuff more than you know. We are going to hang out, and if you come here I am going to show you all of the best hidden parts of Cincinnati, and if I come up there, you must show me all the best hidden parks, and we’ll be ridiculous and giggle, and it’ll be absolutely beautiful. I stand by this. :)
There's something particularly lonely about sleeping alone in the back of a car at night.
When we were on our way home from Chicago, sleeping in the back of Jake’s tiny back seat with Meagan was one of my favorite parts. Just because I’d wake up with her legs tangled in mine or mine on top of hers and it was just nice to know that you can be comfortable enough with someone to do that. There’s something about sleeping next to friends that I’ll always find special. It’s nice to feel safe and like someone cares enough about you to let you sleep in their bed.
There’s something comforting about sleeping in cars as well though. I’m not stuck. I’m traveling at fast speeds over the country and at the same time you’re so comfortable and at peace.
There are two sides as there are to everything that’s lonely and comforting.
It feels good even though it’s a bit sad and lonely.