Bubble tea with Dave and Victoria when she gets out of school, hanging out with Jake and Michael for a bit hopefully, maybe some nap time, and then hanging out with Cyndi tonight. Not bad.
Possible Saturday plans include Traders World, lunch, watching Scott Pilgrim, and then going to the Dock, because Jake planned a day for us. Though I may have made plans already for that day, I am not sure.
Pennsylvania in less than a week.
Lots of random things going on. Pretty content. Though some things I need to take care of as well.
Going through bad break-ups, my roommate/co-worker/close friend and I slept together. This happened several months ago and it’s gotten messy. He was sad and wanted company so he said some things that sounded more intimate than they were, and I was sad and wanted company and…
Things I’ve needed to hear for a long time, and just now understand.
“I like drinking coffee alone and reading alone. I like riding the bus alone and walking home alone. it gives me time to think and set my mind free. I like eating alone and listening to music alone. but when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. the sky is beautiful, but the people are sad. I just need someone who won’t run away.”—(via sing-in-time)
"All eyes on the calendar Another year I claim of total indifference To here, the days pile up With decisions to be made I’m sure all of them were wrong
Into this song I send myself And with these drinks I plan to collapse And forget this wasted year, these wasted years Devoted friends, they disappear
And I’m sorry about the phone call and needing you Some decisions you don’t make I guess it’s just like breathing and not wanting to Yeah, there are some things you can’t fake
Well, I guess that it’s typical To cling to memories you’ll never get back again And to sort through old photographs Of a summer long ago Or a friend that you used to know And there below his frozen face You wrote the name and that ancient date And you can’t believe that he’s really gone When all that’s left is a fucking song
And I’m sorry about the phone call and waking you I know that it is late But thank you for talking, because I needed to Some things just can’t wait”
Cyndi and Jordan were awake and we were all talking but they’ve gone back to sleep. I think we’re going to get food when everyone wakes up, and I’m excited. From medication changes my face has been so dry lately I can’t stand it, it makes me want to stay inside more than I already have been.
I want to stay inside tonight, and I want to hide in my room, but I think Meagan, whoever else, and I are going to drink to self medicate a bit.
I’ve become so apathetic lately. Even to things like drinking or going out. I just want to stay in bed. I just want to sleep and watch movies.
I have officially hit depression again.
Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s lack of purpose. Maybe it’s severe disappointment.