keith’s brother went to his first day of work and they said they couldn’t hire him. so he won’t be able to pay rent. hoping that kevyn will actually pull thru. then it’ll be me, kevyn, aaron, keith, and dave. we should have this on lock.
fuck. i want to quit my job and get my own little apartment with keith far away. that sounds so nice.
Before I go to bed, I have a very interesting story.
I walked into Keith’s mom’s room and she said, “You’re here you’re here, I can finally tell you!” and she told me I was in her dream last night.
Apparently in her dream I was teaching her how to pray the rosary and she started feeling awful. And she looked at me and said, “I should probably wake up and check my blood sugar.” and I said, “yes, you really should.”
And so she woke up, and took her blood sugar and it was down to 52. If she hadn’t woken up it would of kept lowering at the rate it was and she would of went into a coma. If that happened, with her recent surgery, she probably wouldn’t of survived.
I thought that was very interesting. I’m not saying I in any way saved her life, but I thought it was a very interesting dream and very interesting that I was included in it.
So yes. I need to sleep. It’s 3am and I need to be up at nine for my works new morning hours. And we all know how bad I am at waking up.
Also, we should never again put in Harry Potter as our sleepy time movie because it’s long and I can’t help but stay up and watch the entire thing.
And on a semi related note, thank you for being really amazing and trying for me. The fact that when I said we should go to sawyer point you immediately agreed was amazing, but the fact that you made us stop at the house to get my camera because you know I’m trying to get back to doing things I enjoy is perfect baby. Thank you for showing me you’re thinking about me, and us. :)
saturday i worked, came home and napped with keith, and then woke up around 12 and went to a party for his work friend ryan. i had a BLAST. it was so fun. they didn’t have electricity, the room was filled with glow sticks and touch lights. it was so much fun. i talked to so many people, and it really was great.
sunday we woke up at 10am and got dressed, and started the trek to john bryan park to go climbing. an hour and a half drive, and sean, aaron, maggie, my mom, keith and i were finally there. we hiked and picniced and they all climbed but i was too tired. i hung out at a gorgeous waterfall. it was really a great time. afterwards we all went to maggie’s house for a cookout. then keith and i went home and took individual showers, and then took a bubble bath together. it was really cute. :) then we put on a movie, had incredible mind blowing sex, and passed out together.
he went to work at 8, came home at threeish and passed out. i woke up and have been awake, and he’s sleeping next to me. so cute.
going to my mom’s for dinner at 6! excited, i’m hungry and maybe she’ll make something i like. i love her cooking.
oh, aaron etherton is moving in here for only the summer, pretty stoked on that. he starts moving stuff in tomorrow. uhmmm. i think those are my only updates.
let’s do something tonight guys, i miss all you! i know it’s only been like two days, and i saw you guys a little last night but it doesn’t count. where my dawgs at?
When you were home you spent two separate nights with me, both twelve hours straight. You called me the day you came home. We talked about everything. I told you the deepest personal parts of me. I let you sleep in my bed. I gave a lot emotionally and mentally because I broke down a lot I’d walls for you that haven’t been down in a long long time. Not since last time you were back.
And you told me about your program and how you’d be gone for five years. And I was upset. And I tried everything to find out how to make you happy.
When you asked me if I was happy it completely fucked me up but at least I was honest. When I asked, “what makes you happy?” you wouldn’t respond. I asked so many times that night and you refused. Can’t you see I was trying to help?
And you went to sleep in my bed. And I sat on the edge of the mattress. And I finally laid down. And your alarm went off. And you got up, and you left.
And I called. And then called another day. And then you emailed me two sentences. And then I called you, and left a voicemail absolutely sobbing, a wreck, until the voicemail cut me off.
And got nothing.
I got nothing.
I want to say I shouldn’t blame you. I want to blame the pills. I want to make excuses.
But no matter how I twist it, I’m still livid, and upset.
thank you for your live streaming. it always makes me smile or want to come give you a hug. either way i see your life and even though i took the going to college and working for the man right i am jealous of how you give life everything you have and don't care about the "rules of the game". it's inspiring :)
:) thank you for your kind comments. i always feel stupid for my live streaming so i feel a little less dumb knowing at least one person appreciates it haha. this really does mean a lot, because i’ve really been thinking about my life lately and if i’ve done the right thing. this means a lot, thank you. :)
dave and i are going to hong kong buffet with a coupon!
not many people have seen me break down in tears, besides the three people i’ve dated and family obviously. people have seen me cry, but not break down. rio has when i freaked out at the levee and ran into the back of rainbow hugs. i know emma has, she walked upstairs as i was in my bed and i was bawling about how kourtney was supposed to text me after my mom kicked her out, and she did, and then i fell asleep, and when i woke up she wouldn’t text me, or pick up my calls, and i freaked out, hard. and emma saw that right in the middle of it happening. that’s really all that comes to mind.
and now we can add dave to the list. i came into his room last night completely sobbing freaking out, and he tried to make me feel better, and then i freaked out more because i knew it was late and he shouldn’t have to deal with his sobbing roommate. but it was really nice. i care about him so much, and i’m so glad i’ve met him.
so we’re going on a little bro date to gorge ourselves on hong kong buffet and talk i’m assuming about life and whatever.
i’m excited. the last time just dave and i hung out was a longgg longg time ago.