Being with those three is the best thing in the entire world. I hope Keith and I and Emma and Alyssa stay together forever. Cause honestly, being best friends with all these kids and us all being in happy relationships is the most perfect, cute thing ever.
i didn’t even do anything last night. i went out to dinner with alyssa and keith. went to kroger. was home by 10:30. had ONE beer with dave while him and i talked and keith played video games. and we went to bed by 12. didn’t do anything. put in a movie. fell asleep. didn’t even have sex. woke up at 4 something AM thinking i was late for work. did that again around nine AM. and then i’m actually late. fuck. i’m so mad at myself. i’m so mad at myself.
really stressed lately for so many random reasons.
kicking out steve. but he is being less and less of a likable person, so it makes it easier. i just can’t believe he asked keith’s mom for $40, and then keith for $150. i honestly lose respect when people ask for anything over $10. and $10 is a simple, i need cigarettes and i don’t get paid for a few more days, or oh we all want to go to a movie but i didn’t bring my money. both situations where they will be paid back. and asking keith’s mom for $40, surprise, that’s keith’s money. she asked for half of his tax return and he gave it to her. and when that runs out, keith is back to paying for anything she needs. it’s his money. so fuck you steve, that’s shitty in a few ways.
the $100 i got on sunday is almost gone. i’ve been paying for a lot of keith’s stuff. not that i mind though. it just stresses me out that i went thru so much money.
rent is due soon. that also shouldn’t stress me out but seeing that big amount of money leave my bank account bother me. especially because (this is where i get selfish and shitty and i’m not proud of it.) the only electric i’ve used this month is to charge my phone, so i’m paying for the electric use of keith’s mom and brother, which is fine, just bothersome. and i’m paying $220 for the ability to sleep on the floor. bothers me, really badly. i want my room back, with my bed, and dresser, and end tables and windows and fire escape.
keith is apparently going to the smokey mountains at the end of may for six days. he was invited by penny, his ex’s grandmother, to come to el paso, and then fly to las vegas. i want him to go, it’s all free, and he misses her. but the whole fact that he’d be seeing molly would make me super uncomfortable. especially because right before keith and i started dating she was trying to get him to date her again.. i dunno. but i do want him to go to get his stuff back and he does really miss penny. another thing stressing me out for no reason. sigh.
stressed. mad at myself. upset.
after today, two days of work and i’m off. i’m getting shit faced the day i’m off. deal?
hatehatehate. someone come buy me something salty to eat. like chicken nuggets or pizza or something.
yes, yes i am. i have the perfect friends. i love my job and my coworkers are amazing. i love my apartment and roommates and the neighborhood. i love my family. and i have the most perfect boy in my life ever cuddling me to sleep every night, which is the best part.