so many are like a few notes picked on a guitar, change of scene with something obscure and not movie, notes picked on a guitar, change of scene, repeat, repeat, random voice over saying something semi interesting and then going on to clips where things are actually happening.
last night til way too late at night, i realized a lot of things.
a lot of it had to do with the people i’ve been incredibly attracted to. kevyn brown. kourtney smith. brad baker. chris rosenbauer.
all cocky. fake. cheated. lied. used. i always fall for these people. i hate how everyone thinks kourtney is so perfect, or better than me. there i things i only wish i could tell you. but i can’t. because i can’t stand my friends not liking her. but i wish they’d stop acting like she was the sweetest girl in the world.
i’m falling asleep. this medicine has me fucked up.
rosey comes home today. not exactly excited to see him. mikayla came over last night to talk, and ending up staying over. :) made me happy.
kourtney got way too drunk last night and didn’t tell me. whatever i guess..
going camping this weekend i’m almost positive. my mouth is getting worse today, instead of better. rio might bring me over movies, which would make me happy. i’ve just been watching “home movies” on youtube.
i havent eaten in days. my mom got me some liquid food. pumped.
standing in the rain to talk about shit, gathering stuff with someone to give to their exgirlfriend, bringing back relationships, finally coming to terms with someone i hated and actually getting close to her, realizing the difference between anger and abuse, walking down southgate streets laughing at things that maybe were only funny at the moment, my neighbor stole my cat…, lot’s of crying. being fucked over. laughing. and feeling better.
i wish i could go into detail. but i don’t want to spoil any surprise endings.
Plainview:I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
Henry Brands:That part of me is gone... working and not succeeding- all my failures has left me... I just don't... care.
Plainview:Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.
Henry Brands:What will you do about your boy?
Plainview:I don't know. Maybe it will change. Does your sound come back to you? I don't know. Maybe no one knows that. A doctor might not know that.
Henry Brands:Where is his mother?
Plainview:I don't want to talk about those things. I see the worst in people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Henry... to have you here gives me a second breath. I can't keep doing this on my own with these... people.
“Come along with me now cause there are things I’ve been
dying to tell you
the best of the worst things that you never
needed to know
this is the kind of comedy where no one’s
laughing, cause it’s hard to
I’m a punch line who’s punch-drunk
with my fist in a broken mirror
there’s a party nearby
I can hear
laughter in the distance and it all comes clear
sounds to simple
love is the only answer
everything else is just a train wreck
I’m gonna stay up all night every night for the rest of my life
the lines around my eyes grow deeper and more defined
ask me aren’t you dead inside and so damn tired
I’ll say I have no
idea I’m not sleeping until after the dying is over
I can hear laughter
in the distance and it all comes clear
sounds to simple
love is the
when love’s a train wreck you’re a mistake”—
“you put just on ounce of trust in them and they hurt you so bad. i dont trust anyone and thats why i liked you so much, because you were fucked up and lonely and different and beautiful and i felt like i was human near you.”—a girl who i hated, until a little bit ago.
"i thought i might have had feelings for her but i didn’t."
was actually, you had feeling for her, and she said she had feelings for you, and you guys flirted and made out, all while we were trying to get back together. but you told me it was a spontaneous out of the blue thing.
kourtney lee smith, you fuck me over just like the rest of them.
all the time i keep thinking i need to leave and find people who have never hurt me. </emo>
my mom and i explored the city all day, and found out they have a roofed, outdoor, food court, so we ate at the hard rock cafe and walked around.
we came back around 11, the entirety of 4th street was blocked off and you had to be 21 to get in. so my mom got me and and we hung out around all of the bars. it was like a mini las vegas, and it was awesome. we’re going back soon i think. it was so cool. that whole city had the coolest stuff.