i like someone i shouldn’t. but that’s what i’m good at, right?
haha anyways. :) hopefully, phone saturday. i’d be so fucking happy. you have no idea. maybe i’m pathetic, so sue me. i just love handheld technology. it’ll be so nice to have one again. a little virtual companion.
show last night was amazzzinnnnggggg..like i was in a daze because everyone was so great..sarah and emma were fucking ballin. i talked to emma alot and that made me happy. shes really nice. all the people there were very nice and caring which made me happy. because i thought it would be different. but really enjoyed my time.went to steak and shake with all of them..was suppossed to be home at eleven and kinda got home at one…fail. but worth it. busted like a motherfucker..kinda worried.
about to go on a rant that i shouldnt but honestly i want others to know this and im not worried about the outcome..
sarah is my friend..we are getting closer every moment. i hope? but yeah she is always in shitty relationships and upset and shes stuck and when i got home last night i was crying..not because i was busted because i saw the look on sarahs face when she was upset and i just wanted to hold her and tell her everything is alright. but i honestly know everything wont be alright if she dosent stop falling for those people that hurt her.i care too much about her and i feel like i shouldnt because no love is coming back my way. but still i just want her to be out of this shit hole shes in and be happy. sadly im more concerned about her well being than my own. wanna know something else that pisses me the fuck off..im in a relationship with someone thats my best friend and every moment im scared shes going to hate me for something i do and i feel like im cheating her because im a failure and im still deeply crazy about someone else. and im just fucking done..i love haley to death and she knows that..were bestfriends and i dont know what to do.if i ever lose that girl i dont know what i would do…all i know is the person im crazy about will never be mine and haley will always love me and be by my side no matter what..
what in the fucking helll is wrong with me???
i just need to think alot about all this..ohh haley please still be by my side when im finished..
don’t worry about me. i know i’m in a shit situation, but i’ll make it work. i always do. look out for yourself ma’am, i’m not one to worry about.
my relationships are more just a series of people hurting me.
it makes me think awful things. like that i’m not worth being faithful to. like i’m not a good girlfriend. but to be honest, i’m as sweet as can be. i just fall for really fucked up people. always.
i’m so tired. and sad. the show tonight was great and i had so much fun.
my birthday is in 2 days.. and i don’t know what i’m doing for it at all, which makes me sad, cause i kinda wanna party. maybe the next weekend, i’ll throw something, but i dunno. probably not. yeah, i know i won’t. i just wish i had something cool planned.
in reality, i’m at a very very low point in my life. but i feel fine. so i guess there’s that.
I’m really sorry I missed your show today! Even though I was having a blast I did think about you frequently… you guys should play Warped so we don’t have that problem next year.
But, let me tell you, the shows were great, so it’s not like I ditched you for something lame (although I know that’s not really an excuse for ditching you).
But it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows… I almost got my neck broken by this fat butchy girl who tried to beat evryone up in the All Time Low moshpit… I guess she thought she was cool… And then Laura ditched seeing All Time Low with me to see fucking Madina Lake (I know, what the fuck, right?), I missed Underoath cause I got the time wrong, Rosey came over to me and Laura and started talking to us like he knew us and I was just like “ooookayyyy…”, my cousins friends were rude… again… And once again, a really shitty band closed the main stage. I’m sure you can guess who it was. So, just so you know, I didn’t completely have a TON of fun while not at your show.
I will definitely be at the next show and not moshing with ridiculously sweaty, odorous people who obviously have never heard of deodorant.
It was still amazing though. If your show wouldn’t have been today, I think you would’ve had fun :)
it’s way cool, no worries. i miss the fuck out of you though. seriously.
they are the most annoying of the most annoying, in their vnecks and leather jackets, and vans, all looking exactly the same. and they all take pictures. and listen to the same music. and watch the same movies.
i’m guilty of being like them, but i keep it in the closet. i’d never be proud of it.
i want to see the where the wild things are movie so bad but i know it’s going to be chock full of indie hipsters and i’m going to be oh so annoyed.
i don’t think i’m better than anyone, oh no, i know i’m worse. i just have a habit of hating.
“Queen Mary, she’s my friend
Yes, I believe I’ll go see her again
Nobody has to guess
That Baby can’t be blessed
Till she sees finally that she’s like all the rest
With her fog, her amphetamine and her pearls.
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.”—bob dylan
i get up run over all excited and scream burns…no answer…burns..no answer…yelling SARAH BURNSSS…i got a fucking answer..and that made me so happy i got to see her and we all talk for a while and had fun and i got to re-meet kourtney which i enjoy…i thinks she sweet and want to get to know her..but yeah…sarah sarah sarah..your in my mind too much and booom there you are you beautiful lady..just like booooom..
what the fuck?…im tired..very.. okay so this day made my week..alot..and im thinking what im going to get sarah for her birthday and not sure….i think im going to buy her like ten GOOOOEEEYYY TUUUBEEESS because i tasted them and it was goood and know its going to make me think of her when ever i smell or see it…fuck you sarah…fuck you…haha
when she text me ill be happy..just yeah burnskeee phone…now…kourtney…i enjoy you…corey is mad at me because on the way home i told him im not sure what the hell i am and he got all ahhhh your my fake wife…whos a lesbo?? why???? why no penisssss’s??? hhhhhhuuuhhhhh saaaraahhh…. my answer…cause dykes are hottt!!!! cough cough…like me*
im soooo lammeee….
this made me so happy! i had a lot of fun hanging out with you tonight. it was so goofy and nice. we need to again soooooon!
so i got this main man jesse, and he’s pretty much my boi fo lyf. hahah i won’t even get into explaining our relationship.
like 6 months ago, or more, there was a show at his house, cause he was kinda living in a venue. and i was supposed to go, but i didn’t cause i’m lame. so i’m looking at the pictures today, and who was playing at his house?
When I Fall Asleep Leave My Door Open Just A crack Please Take Me Away From Here Cause I Feel Like Such An Insomniac Please Take Me Away From Here Why Do I Tire Of Counting Sheep Please Take Me Away From Here When I’m far Too Tired To Fall Asleep To Ten Million Fireflies I’m Weird Cause I Hate Goodbyes I Got Misty Eyes As They Said Farewell But I’ll Know Where Several Are If My Dreams Get Real Bizzare Cause I Saved A Few And I Keep Them In A Jar I’d Like To make Myself Believe That Planet earth Turns Slowly It’s Hard To Say That I’d Rather Stay Awake When I’m Asleep
im scared and alone.i feel like i have two honest real friends and thats sad because i dont hangout with them as much as i should but im going to change that.
i slept over alyssa’s house and plan on doing it again tomorrow and plan on spending the whole day with her and alyssa number 2.fuck its hard being around two alyssa’s.and its worse cuz i cant use alyssa d because their both fucking alyssa d.but i miss them alot so im changing that,
now back to my main topiccc.sarahburns,i’ve been getting really close to her and texting her as much as i can and its making me really happy and i hope im making her happy.i missed her so much and to have her back is more that great.i just dont know anymore.im helping her alot and teaching her things about my world i live in and helping her overcome it and shes doing the same with me.i just hope i never hurt her and i hope she truly honestly understands how much i care and want her in my life.
fuck im tired.
ahh i just found this. :)
i dont have minutes on my phone, cause i get cards that last a month, and i’m getting a phone with a plan at the end of the month, and i’m not paying $20 for only two weeks. but i think about you daily, and miss texting you. i’m so glad things are going so well for you. :)
here sarah, have these pills that will make all the pain go away, emotionally, and physically, and they’ll make you feel drunk! and i was all, “i dunnnno…” and then they cut my mouth apart in a million directions and i was like, “OW OW OW OW OWWWWW! give!” so they gave me them and they were wonderful and became so wonderful that my mom took them from me because i liked them too much. :(
i dunno where they’re hiding… :( i get more in 2 months though, and i’m not giving them up!
sleepy. i’m supposed to save this energy drink for the next time me and kourtney have a late night but i can’t do it! so i’m drinking it tonight. and i’ll feel bad.