January 2010
I love
Waking up to texts and voicemails from Kourtney, then trying to make her feel better and she tells me she’s sad because her girlfriend broke up with her.
I want to fucking die.
I fucking want to die.
But it’s new years.
You said “send me stationary to make me horny”
So I always write you letters in multicolours
Decorating envelopes for foreplay
Damn extended metaphors, I get carried away
On the back of a natural disaster, fixed with parcel tape and with kids sticking plasters
Nothing says “I miss you” quite like war poetry you carved in your door with a Stanley knife
My year in...
December 2009
two years ago,
In this bed, she kissed me first. I can tell you every little detail of that day. I was barely 15. I’d never been with a girl. But two years ago, she kissed me first.
Why would you kiss me like that, and make all those promises, if in the end you would leave me with my shattered heart.
2009.
New years day, the first day of 2009, I packed up my stuff, some food I could bring with me, and got picked up by Kourtney. She surprised me with a new phone because I didn’t have one and a stuffed bunny named Corey because it sounded like her name. We got something to eat at cracker barrel and she showed me her old house. We killed time til her mom went to bed and went to her house. We...
Today I miss her a lot.
Holidays are hard.
At my therapists, there’s a mom here who is a total bitch to her son. The soundtrack keeps skipping. I’m so tired.
After we talk about my medication, i’m going back home and going back to bed.
I will write a year in review thing later. It’s been an interesting one. But aren’t they always.
Oh and
I’m super pumped for when David Emma and I actually go to friends, and actually hang out and actually smoke hookah.
Don’t fuck up my plans for your own selfish desires. You’re gaining nothing from this.
I can find something to hate in everyone.
Ask me, and there will be something that just bothers me so much about the person. And then there is Emma whom I love in all her awesomeness. And it’s awesome cause she’s also one of the few people I can honestly say I’ve never been sexually attracted to, so it’s a total bromance but I can still think she looks good and it’s no homo.
Haha that’s awkward. But in...
I love my new camera.
And I love random plans.
And I love a lot of things.
I’m getting better. And recovering.
But I still want her to be mine.
Maybe i’m crazy, maybe I’m obbsessive, or maybe it’s meant to be.
Which is strange for me. Because I don’t believe in that bullshit. And I don’t care about people enough to commit my life to them. And I don’t trust them.
So it comes...
I'm afraid of Florence.
Fuck.
I have the most perfect gift for you. And hopefully when you get it, you’ll think of me at least a little.
Merry Christmas.
Ahhh psych.
Sleepy and lonely.
Free waterpark today?
We got this!
Drunk.
Sleepy.
Everyones talking about shaving.
Like shaving balls and vagina.
“I don’t even like it clean!”
“you don’t even like dick!”
Someone come be my cute girlfriend and be with me right now.
she just strings me along.
“the garbage has been taken out
its far from the sidewalk
way past the next block
it continues not to stop
its being carried farther and farther away
and so are the memories
a small sort of haze
until they’re completely gone one day
completely
such a strong word
is anything ever complete
or, completely gone
a mind can mold to think
everything so easy to delete
scanning through...
Getting up
Getting ready for a possibly very awkward hang out. Who knows.
I’m very tired. My medicine sucks so much when it comes to sleeping.
Last night was weird. And kinda insane. I dunno. It was really really weird.
Hungryyy. Why isn’t food free everywhere.
∆˚∆˚∆˚∆˚∆˚∆˚∆˚∆˚∆˚∆
Y∆U IN∆IE F∆CK.
m1∫∫h∑®
ƒµ©k.
But she's not my girl anymore, is she..
Goodnight everyone.
You have my heart, all of you do.
I miss my girl.
Aaron's spilled like 8 things tonight.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Midnight bowling tonight. Score.
Aaron breaks everything!
Amazing Christmas :)
Amazing!
Getting ready, going to the aunts, going home and then hopefully midnight bowling!! :)
Merry christmas.
your note
notasparkinspace:
made me rather happy miss burns.
and the cd is awesome so far.
that’s me!
Fuck.
Christmas eve. I miss her so fucking bad it hurts.
Fuck…. I’m sad… I miss her…..
Holidays
My heart hurts.
Growing up.
Being selfless.
This is what it’s about.
(miss you. Always. I’m a fucking joke, I know.)
Tonight I felt sadness for the first time in...
These pills make me think straight. These pills block the sadness. So I know when I’m sad. But I can’t feel it. I don’t have that genuine feeling.
And tonight, in the car listening to iron and wine, I was sad.
It was a cold, wet emotion, if that makes sense. Kind of like being cut open with a cold knife.
It was interesting.
I miss my girl.
“All your “secret wishes” could right now be coming true
And be...”
– angeles, elliott smith
Sad today.
Tired today.
I had a dream she came back.
She didn’t.
Love
Is the most beautiful, invigorating, interesting thing.
I plan do dedicate my life to it, completely.
2:35
Lazy day. Gonna get up and play call of duty.
Then who knows what’s going on tonight.
Sad mood. I miss her.
Hate.
Let me sleep in medicine.
It woke me up at 2am.and then 8.
Let me sleep in. It’s fucking winter break.
My heart will never cease breaking.
Oh decorating the tree.
Horton(from horton hears a who): a person's a person no matter how small.
Aaron: I think I know what they're talking about.
Mom: Sarah already explained it, it's about abortion.
Me: it's not about abortion!
Aaron: I thought it was about midgets.
Oh decorating the tree.
Horton(from horton hears a who): a person's a person no matter how small.
Aaron: I think I know what they're talking about.
Mom: Sarah already explained it, it's about abortion.
Me: it's not about abortion!
Aaron: I thought it was about midgets.
